Ray Rogers Handcrafted Knives




My Wedding December 29, 2007



After about 15 months worth of paper work and fees, my lady finally arrived here from China on the last day of November. That's right at the beginning of the worst part of the winter. I think she was in shock when she saw my place and all that snow but she decided to stay anyway. Due to the difficulty of having a wedding of any size in the winter in this place I figured we would just go to the court house and tie the knot. Around here though, things tend to snowball and soon the word was out that the local hermit had finally snagged a woman even though he had to go all the way to China to find one that didn't run away after the first look. Good thing China worked out, after that the only place left was Borneo.

Anyway, the community came together to welcome Amy to Wauconda and to make danged sure somebody got a bridle on me. Here's how it went:


First thing we needed was some wedding rings. I made hers from some Fine silver beads I had laying around. Mine was made from an 1879 and an 1886 pair of Liberty silver dollars. I'm not a jeweler and my methods were crude and wasteful but the job got done.




Next, we needed a bride. This is where the action really started. I did my part by tricking, uh, I mean, wooing her into coming over here. Then all the hens - I mean ladies - in the valley jumped in with both feet to provide the dress, the bouquet, the venue, the pastor, the food and the manacles they figured might be necessary to keep me from changing my mind.




Captured forever in this simple digital picture are my last few moments of freedom. I'm the one that appears to have been drugged.




This is called "kissing the bride". Fortunately, I am considerably stronger than she is and was able to overcome her natural reluctance...




The wedding cake. Notice that the names on the cake use all the same letters except for the R in my name and the M in hers. For some reason, this seemed really significant to me before the drugs wore off...




The traditional sharing of the first bite of the wedding cake. I think I would have enjoyed it more had she not forced her fist down my throat with the cake...




The Certificate of Eternal Servitude. I'm sure none of you married guys need an explanation of what this means...




There were three tables covered with food of various kinds. This is the one concession women make to men at a wedding - we get to eat...




Dean and his wife Sheryl. Sheryl provided help with the dress and, I believe, some of the drugs that kept me subdued. Dean kept my tears from staining Amy's dress....




Jake and Leda. Leda provided the dress, the bouquet which she made herself, and hair and makeup services. Jake was told not to let me leave and since Jake can bench press a small tractor ...




Norm and Mahashka. Norm is the Pastor of the local church and was very patient. Mahashka held the cue cards so that I would say "I do" at the right time...




Dave and Mary generously provided the use of their lovely home as well as the food and a good bit of the photography. Dave was the 'best man' and also played the wedding march on the stereo when Mary told him to...




Tony was the only single person there so we just handed him the bouquet. I think he's gonna have to go to Borneo ...




Our sincere thanks to everyone involved in making this happen. Our special thanks goes out to D.E. who could not be here for the wedding but without whose help there would not have been a wedding...



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Ray Rogers Handcrafted Knives